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The Cecilian Society

The Ten Cecilian Committee Meeting Commandments

Long ago, in the depths of Cecilian history, one of the Society's secretarys wandered up the Campsies. Whilst up there he came across two large stone tablets which had engraved upon them the Cecilian Society Committee Meeting Commandments. These tablets lay near a burning toilet seat that could maybe look like a C if you looked at it in the right light. He took them back to the Society, unfortunately dropping one and breaking it on the way. The remaining tablet was then presented before the Committee and the secretary recounted the burning toilet seat. A member of the committee then pointed out that the toilet seat must have been fire-proofed to not have been consumed in the flame. A second commitee member then pointed out that, on the contrary, if it had been fire-proofed then it wouldn't be on fire in the first place. A lengthy discussion ensued about fire-proofing which went round in circles for some time without any firm conclusion being achieved. The secretary brought them back on track by reminding them of the stone tablet, which must truly have been a divine gift. The committee as (almost) one decided that divine or not the stone tablet wasn't practical as it was far too heavy and storage was going to be an issue. One member suggested that the stone tablet could be taken back and exchanged for a chipboard tablet, whilst another suggested that the physical tablet should be disposed of entirely and replaced with a recording. Yet another person pointed out that if it was free we should just keep it as it might be useful in the future to which someone else retorted that if we kept every chunk of rock we stumbled across then we would have no room for anything. A decision was finally made (by simple majority vote) that the information should be minuted so people would know where to find it in the future and the tablet would be lent to a different theatrical group in exchange for them storing it. Sadly, it was not minuted which group the tablet was lent to and so the current location of the tablet is not known. However, the contents of the tablet are expounded below...

  1. Thou shalt not have thy mobile phone switched on during a Committee Meeting unless you know for a fact that the President is going to phone you on it to complain that it is switched on
  2. Thou shalt not get through an entire committee meeting without somebody asking a question that has been fully answered during at least three previous committee meetings
  3. Thou shalt not get through an entire committee meeting without somebody asking a question that has been fully answered in the preceding 5 minutes
  4. Honour thy heritage - always bring up at least one past Cecilian disaster every committee meeting
  5. Thou shalt not get through an entire committee meeting without sombody making bitchy comment about someone else
  6. Thou shalt not get through an entire committee meeting without missing something
  7. Thou shalt not manage to stay out of the big committee discussion no matter how hard you may try
  8. Thou shalt not remember the only sensible and important piece of business that you have had all year
  9. Thou shalt not get through an entire committee meeting without having at least once random irrelvant conversation involving half the committee whilst the other half look on despairingly
  10. Thou shalt not have made a decision, even though you think you have

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